doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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