Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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