I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
