Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
