the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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