I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
