Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
