Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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