cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
