Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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