yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My ass is underappreciated
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
