NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
