she was so not down for the gang bang
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
