New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
