i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I forget how to act sober
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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