You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
