Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
