I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
