All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
