I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
