people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
