Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You made out with two different species that night
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
