Cold hands, warm shart.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
