Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
