There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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