Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
