am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
