Having a random hookup so left but love u
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
