Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
