My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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