i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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