dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I had to cum in my sink.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
