Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
