Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
