Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
