in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
you made out with another girl for some wings
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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