Who did Billy Mays play for?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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