Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Say something about gay babies.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
