so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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