Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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