i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
