If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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