my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
