She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
