Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize