I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
