I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
