Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
