Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
