There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
