did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Randomize
