When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize