i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Someone shit on the floor
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
