I just pynch a tree in the face
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
