I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
