I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize