don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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