How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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