Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
