So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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